PART II

So the story goes on in this sequel (which I wouldn't have done this piece of crap story unless CD gave me a bigger paycheck). The two insane heroes are forever locked up in the mental institution (which isn't really forever cause why pay me to narrate the story if they only stay in the mental institution... maybe they both really are crazy...) anyways the two heroes now sit in a large padded room with straight jackets on not knowing what to do.

"CD I really like these nice free coats they gave us but I can't drink my soda without a straw and I just dropped my straw on the ground so when I tried to drink my soda it spilled all over the floor."

"Skyax... shut up."

"Umm... ok."

"Now using my superior size and strength I believe if I run against that locked door I can bust it open and we'll be free... besides these blasted coats of course but we'll figure that out later."

"CD why don't you just..."

"Skyrax quiet damnit I'm trying to think!"

"Well that will take forever..." Skyrax says with a smug grin.

CD stands up and looks at the door with blood lust in his eye.

"Ok Mr. Padded Cell Locked Door this fight is just between you and me got that?!"

So the strong (but really stupid) CD runs at the door only to go through the open doorway and straight into the brick wall of the hallway which of course makes him fall down.

"Hi! I figured I better get you two out of here so we can all go find my pencil sharpener!"

CD looks up at the strange figures of the person holding the cell door open.

"Thanks FelinA but would you be able to get this coat off of me?" Skyrax asks while walking towards the open door of the cell.

FelinA with one swipe of her claws slashes the coat off of Skyrax... but she cut it a little close and now Skyrax has claw marks on his back.

"Wow... that's a strong door... it fought back..."

Both Skyrax and FelinA look at the half conscious CD.

"Do you really need to bring him?" FelinA asks.

"Yeah otherwise this story dwindles off and we get bored... that and we don't get paid...."

"Oh."

FelinA kneels down beside CD and with a slash cut's open the jacket... leaving claw marks of course. So now the story can continue without those blasted straight jackets and the padded room (although CD will never forget his fight with the door and how it beat him). As the trio steps past the guard room CD and Skyrax look in. Where ever they look bodies lie in positions that normal bodies shouldn't be able to be in.

"What the hell did you do FelinA?" CD asks half turning towards her.

"They made fun of my leather armor and called me a dominatrix! So I taught them what a real dominatrix would do to them."

"Where's that guy's head?" Skyrax asks looking slightly sick.

"That guy or that guy?"

"The first one FelinA"

"Oh it's up his ass. I figured he'd be right at home there." FelinA explained with a sly grin.

CD and Skyrax look at each other with worried faces and both slowly back away from FelinA.

Skyrax whispers to CD, "Why is she in this story and what's her part?"

CD thinks for a moment and replies, "Oh she's the psychopthatic half cat half women killer amazon women with PMS."

"WHAT?! Why is she in this story?!"

"Cause she threatened me that she'd hurt me if I didn't put her in the sequel to find her pencil sharpener."

"Come on boys lets get moving before more of these leather perverts show up!"

So FelinA is now the new leader in this expedition (mainly because CD and Skyrax don't want to turn their back on her). FelinA toses the two guys their equipment and jumps into an F-15 Combat Fighter Jet.

"FelinA?"

"Yes?"

"There is only one seat in that F-15... also if we just fly straight to the pencil sharpener I'll have to take off half the moeny from your cheques."

This time it's FelinA and Skyrax to give worried looks. So FelinA jumps from her jet and hides it in the underbrush of a nearby forest. (I know that's impossible but you try telling HER that!) So off on foot the trio starts on their long journey to Canada to find the magic pencil sharpener. A few minutes down the road and an explosion off in the distance catches their attention. CD and Skyrax steps back of course and CD grabs the back of FelinA's shirt and pulls her back as well just as C.T.G. lands right where FelinA was standing.

"Hello again! I heard there was going to be a sequel so I thought I could come along with you this time! I have a new invention that I know you'll really love... it's the nuclear jockstrap! Put in on and it makes a mushroom cloud, white hot fire, and a loud noise!"

FelinA thinks for a moment if she could give that invention to anyone.

"NO! Umm.. we don't need that...." CD tells C.T.G. after seeing FelinA thinking on the idea.

"You sure? C-mon let me come with you! I have lot's of great inventions!"

Skyrax whisper's something in CD's ear and they both grin.

"C.T.G. you can come with us! In fact here's a present for you!" CD says while handing C.T.G. the shield from his pack.

"Cool thanks! This looks exactlly like..."

C.T.G. looks around and realizes that the trio is gone.

"GET HIM!" CD yells while picking up rocks and throws them at C.T.G.

So CD and Skyrax are throwing rocks at C.T.G. but what about FelinA you ask? She's tied to a tree with a 10 foot rope and a loop around her waist as she hisses and tries to go after C.T.G.

"Boy are you dumb! You throw rocks at me and I have a shield right here to protect myself!"

Skyrax hits the shield square on and the erupting mushroom cloud, white hot fire, and the loud noise sends C.T.G. high into orbit and out of site.

"I'll be damned," CD says with a grin, "that little bugger's idea of the nuclear shield worked!"

And after that little episode the trio continues on down the road. Ok so the trio is walking down the road past a small grove of trees when FelinA dives off the road and into the bushes.

"What's up with her Skyrax?"

"Maybe she found a litterbox or something...."

"Could be a mouse Skyrax..."

"Yeah that too.."

Just then an arrow flies at Skyrax and a lightning bolt flies at CD from the grove of trees. The whole story seems to go REALLY slow as Skyrax jumps over the arrom in slow motion and CD bends over backwards as the lighting bolt JUST flies past over his chest. A woman with a bow in one hand and the other hand crackling with electricity walks from the trees.

"What the F*%$?! THIS ISN'T THE MATRIX! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"We can't?" CD looks at Skyrax

"No you can't now stop that!"

CD falls onto his back and Skyrax lands on his butt with a thump. The woman with the bow walks forward only a few steps when she is tackled by FelinA which jumps from a tree.

"FelinA?!"

"Natalee?!"

The two girls sit on the ground chatting away about whatever girls talk about.

"blah blah blah boys blah blah blah clothes blah blah blah"

CD and Skyrax rubbing their bruises walk over to the girls.

"You two know each other?" They guys ask

"Yup FelinA and I are friends."

"Oh." CD states while looking at Skyrax with a 'women' kind of scoffing look.

""Well if you don't mind CD and I would like to keep going and if you girls would like to come along you can."

"Natalee would you like to help me find my missing pencil sharpener?"

"Sure!"

So now the group of four walks on down the yellow road arm in arm and start to sing;

"Oh we're off to find the sharpener, the magic sharpener of Canada!"

Course at that moment TKON just had to throw a lawsuit of copyright infringments at CD.

"OK I GET THE IDEA TKON!" CD yells as he ducks the 1,000 page document.

So the quartet walks off down the road leaving TKON with the lawyers so they can find the magic pencil sharperner of Canada! Days later with not much happening except all of them getting thrown from a bar when FelinA destroys the bar cause some guy said she would look better with her armor in the corner of his bed room (that was the bartender... he's now listed in severe critical condition at St. John's Memorial hospital and is not expected to live). Other than hat it was pretty boring except CD making the odd joke about cats and FelinA scratching the hell out of him THEN it was boring. Unless you count Skyrax putting a joke bomerrang arrow in Natalee's quiver so when she fired it she immediatly had to duck then kick the crap out of Skyrax using quite a few spells along with one called sex change THEN it was boring. So days have passed since Natalee joined the group and it's about time they met someone new. As they were walking down a path through a forest someone ran right past infront of them getting chased by a horny male grizzly bear.

"HELP ME!" the figure screamed while climbing up a tree.

"I'll handle him!" CD said while walking over to the bear which was looking up the tree. "If there is one thing I know... it's how to beat on a horny bear!"

CD walks over behind the bear and very calmly laces up a pair of track shoes, straps on shoulder pads, and puts on a football helmet.

"24, 32, 36, HUT!" CD yells while punting the bear between the hind legs.

The bear lifts about a foot off the ground and immediatly turns around and jumps on CD biting, scratching, and clawing.

"Get... that.. person down... from... the tree..." CD tells Skyrax while getting mauled, "oh c-mon that's all you got... that tickles... my mother can bite harder than... you.... ok THAT one hurt...."

So while Skyrax helps the person down from the tree CD keeps the bears attention.

"So who are... oh I am sorry Miss.... if I would have known you were female I would have been more gentle helping you down." Skyrax said slowly backing up.

"I'M A MAN YOU FOOL CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!" Lance yelled out at Skyrax.

"Umm... no...."

(See the problem was that Lance wanted to look so good and handsom he went a little overboard and sort of looks like a girl.)

*Authors Note: Lance asked to look like that in this story so please don't send me hate mail for this*

Skyrax was just about to say something when a groan was heard in the bushes and CD crawls out totally mauled, his clothes barely hanging onto his body, and enough cuts on him to make FelinA jealous that she couldn't do that much damage.

"You ok?" FelinA asked.

"Never... better...." CD says and faints.

"Ok then cause I was about to say you look like shi..."

"FelinA I think he might be hurt!" Skyrax said walking over to CD.

"Oh."

Lance and Natalee go to work on CD fxing him all up. Lance was a Ranger so he knew abit about healing and Natalee knew abit of magic so she had a few spells that could help. It ended up that they stayed there for a day while CD rested up. (like I've said so many times before if I wasn't the narrator and didn't get paid by CD and Skyrax I'd say that in every sentance I could but anyways back to the story). Well as soon as CD got better they decided that they should all continue on. So the five of them walked off down the path.

"Oh we're off to find the sharpener... the magic sh..." Lance started to sing.

"Um Lance we already did that joke and parden your missus but we're not aloud to sing that because of copy right infringment." CD pointed out.

"I'M MALE DAMINT!"

"Oh sorry I was coming in and out of consciousness so often I must have missed that. My mistake."

As luck would have it the group of people (see I changed that cause there are three women in the group. "I'M MALE DAMNIT!" ok so there are two females in the group) ran into a weird creature walking towards them along the road.

"What the hell are you?" Skyrax asked with a grin.

"Can't you tell it's a moogle!" Lance retorted.

"Oh no we're going to be sued by Squaresoft this time..." CD said hanging his head low and watches his money fly away with little wings.

"My name's Star!" The little moogle anounced.

"Riiiight..." CD laughed.

"Wait weren't you a human walking along with Purinpuff in the last story?" Natalee asked.

"Yup but I decided that a change of character was a little better."

"What are you doing in this story... what's your purpose?" FelinA asked.

"I'm here to lead you all to victory!"

Of course everyone laughed at that comment. Star who got a little angry with everyone laughing at her took out her script to prove to everyone, but when she read what she was supposed to do she blushed.

"Ok so I made a mistake! I'm here to give you directions to the Blue Igloo Castle to find the magic pencil sharpener of Canada!"

"Why would we need instructions?" Skyrax asked with a snarl.

"Cause you passed the castle way back there..."

"Oh" Skyrax said with a sweatdrop appearing on his forehead.

So the group left the moogle (this is after CD had the male grizzly bear start chasing the moogle by dipping the moogle in estras sent but CD didn't want that written in the story because of certain individuals) so after they left the lovable moogle they doubled back and walked towards the ridiculously sized Igloo castle. (how they missed it no one will ever know but you'll have to ask them the reason... I think the reason is because Skyrax and CD were too busy watching the girls walk infront of them and the girls were too busy talking about whatever girls talk about but that's my opinion)

*Author's note: The narrator regretfully had an accident so a new one was hired about this time in the telling of the story. We regret the hold up of this wonderful story*

So when the group arrives at the large armored doors Skyrax walks up and knocks on them.

"What are you doing Skyrax that never works!" Natalee told him with a stern look.

"No wait and watch Natalee... CD did this in the last story and..." Skyrax never got to finish his sentance because a huge boxing glove filled with large horseshoes came out of a secret panel in the door and hit Skyrax across the jaw.

"Are you ok Skyrax?" FelinA asked the fallen comrade.

CD hefted Skyrax up and carried him through the small open door beside the large doors.

"Don't worry he'll never learn." Lance said while following CD and Skyrax.

The girls just shrugged and followed everyone else. Now it was the girl's turn to watch the guys walk before them and the guys were talking about hunting, fishing, nuclear armament, and other things guys talk about. (at least that's the reason I give because everyone missed the sign which read 'magic pencil sharpener this way')

*Author's Note: The new narator was found dead. FelinA and Natalee said it was an accident but the scratches, deep cuts, arrows, and burn marks all over the narrator's body didin't seem like an accident but why judge women? It was hard finding a new narrator after this but we finally found one who worked only for a dollar a day.*

Tan el cuento continúa con....

*Author's Note: This was MR. Lance's problem for hiring his cousin from Mexico but we have a new narrator now who at least speaks English so let's continue with the story.*

So the group spent hours upon hours searching the many rooms of the castle and gettig into many fights (mostly cause the castle was a bordello and guys didn't like being disturbed when they were busy) before finally finding the elevator and riding right up to the top. The group bust through the doors ready for the largest monster in the word to be there... instead it was a small kid. But not just any kid... it was Elchi!

"A child ghost? Oh come on what kind of a boss is that?!" Lance laughs as HE runs forward.

Elchi just stands there and knocks Lance a side with a huge axe.

"Smart move HE-MAN!" Natalee calls after Lance as he tumbles through the air and collides with a suit of armor.

"You gave me photocopies of your drawings!"

"That was CD's fault," Skyrax yells while pointing to CD, "he was the one who gave you the photocopies!"

Elchi rushed forward holding a very large axe but stopped dead when CD picked up a large vaccuum.

"NOT THE GHOST SUCKER VACCUUM!" Elchi yelled while trying to run.

CD turned on the vaccum and sucked the child ghost inside.

"I'll let you out Elchi if you promise to be nice... and I'll even throw in the originals of our artwork... deal?"

"Deal..." Elchi sighed.

So CD let Elchi out but with one problem. The magic pencil sharpener of Canada wasn't in the castle. The whole story was for nothing!

"Where is the magic pencil sharpener?" CD asked.

"You mean we paid everyone to do this story for nothing?" Skyrax added.

A little sound behind everyone made them turn and look at FelinA.

"I umm.. forgot... I took the magic pencil sharpener in to the shop to have the blade resharpened. Oops?"

The group slowly closed in toward FelinA with grim looks on their faces. FelinA on the otherhand ran as fast as her feline legs could carry her and hot on her tail was the group.

So remember... before you go on a quest please know where the object you're questing for is... and make sure no one has taken it to the reapir shop before you go facing all the monsters and perverted narrators. Good day!