Bad American
By: George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.

I am George Carlin.

I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac in New York or Los
Angeles, you'd better do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.

Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.

My heroes are John Wayne, and whoever canceled Dr Quinn Medicine
Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I didn't wander forty
years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt; I haven't
burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks ..... and neither
have you, so
shut-the-#$%!-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson preaches. And why is he always part of the problem and not the
solution.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't
want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in
the world for the next four years.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me
crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
These people should be targets.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes
two parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex
for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United
States.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you
know.We need our country back! I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD
American.

I am George Carlin.